A Rose in my Heart
There’s a rose in my heart
It grows everyday
The thorns twist through me every time you two call me names
Every time you two call me a slur
I can’t help but pelt you back with my own hurtful words
Feeding the rose
The rose grows and grows
Will it ever die?
I want it to die.
I never loved you
I wanted to be friends
But you two dragged me along
It makes me cry
You call me a baby for hating it
You call me a baby for following along
You call me a baby for trying to be happy
Yet the spines still twist into my heart
I can’t help but tag along because the spines will rip me to shreds if we run from one another or
rather
If I run.
You see an accursed parasite clinging on sucking you of attention
You call me an “Attention Whore”
I see a bag of fertilizer stable but also able to explode; a shiny pearl, delicate and soft but also
stained with the blood of cruelty; a small hand bag, so much package.
I call us, a sinister triplet
I try to balance us to create a melodious quartet with her
But it’s only a bandaid to this gaping wound
Vissi D’arte was always my favorite work
You always called it weird to enjoy historical music,
Preferring more contemporary works
But in the end, I realize I should’ve trusted myself and ran before this seed of doubt would ever
form
Before it would ever bud out
Before it would have bloomed
No. Before it would have ever conceptualized
Before it existed
Before I existed.
But I know that before I loved my existence enough to not regret this Greek tragedy
But I know that when he uttered “You’re that one friend no one likes, and agrees should kill
themselves”
I should’ve backed off
But now,
Here I am holding my fertilizer, as you pull out your shiny new knife, with a small pearl
embedded
We’re in a non zero sum game
Yet you still call me a baby for wanting this to end
To stop the you two from saying more
So I can stop pelting you with things that we shouldn’t say
So I can leave you behind
You’ll say this is another attempt to get your attention
But this is the clearest moment I’ve seen in my life
I love every moment of it
Even if leaving it will pull my heart out
I’ll gladly root this rose out when I have the strength to do it